no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
