Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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