I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think people are normalizing furries
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
