hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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