so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
