my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
