No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
