best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
