I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I hope mine doesn't look like that
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All the doctor said was why
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
