sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
