brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
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