How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
