he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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