we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
