So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
