Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
