I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
