no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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