just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
