I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
