How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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