6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
