i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
