Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
