Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you had me at cake vodka
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
