dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
