I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
