u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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