Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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