woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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