At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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