i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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