I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
People with herpes should wear stickers.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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