We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
