Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're like the curious george of whores
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
