Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
