Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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