wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
