I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
bring money and cleavage
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
