For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
