lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
