Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
