did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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