nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
