she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
