Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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