he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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