i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
