There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
