you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
