Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're so nebulous sometimes
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
